Jason Sanford: New Mottos for Our Social Media Overlords

May 12, 2011

New Mottos for Our Social Media Overlords

I've always liked Google's informal motto of Don't Be Evil. I mean, when you state upfront that you don't want to be evil, that's a great way to deflect complaints when you start acting like Darth Vader on a roid rage.

So in the interest of helping other social media companies come up with their own informal mottos, I offer the following suggestions:

Google: "Don't be evil unless there's clear profit in it."
Yahoo: "We coulda been a contender. We coulda been Google, instead of a bum."
Facebook: "Privacy? What effin privacy?"
MySpace: "The Facebook for people who can't even spell aesthetics."
LiveJournal: "For people who still think the word 'hip' is hip."
Renren: "Make a killing with your IPO by calling yourself China's Facebook!"
LinkedIn: "Why network when you can pretend to network?"
FourSquare: "When you absolutely, positively want to tell a robber where you are."
Twitter: "Twitter is over capacity."
YouTube: "Because every fool deserves 15 minutes of fame."
Skype: "We aim to prove that Microsoft will always jack up a good thing."
Digg: "Who knew stopping our users from acting like a mob would kill our business model?"
Yelp: "Because bitch-slapping businesses is fun!"
Wikipedia: "As accurate as Encyclopædia Britannica, unless an editor has a vendetta against a subject."