On losing genre friends, but not the genre

I have very few friends in the science fiction and fantasy genre. Sure, I know a lot of genre people. I interact with a lot of genre people. But actual friends who are known in person and would support me no matter what, and I them — not too many of those.

Today I lost a friend because of the political battles which have been going on in the genre. Or more accurately, I lost a friend a while back and wasn't told so until today. And for that I'm sad.

I try to be a good person, but I fail as all people do. I try to be a friend, but I will never succeed in being as much of one as I wish I could be.

When I was growing up I survived abuse and hate and anger by dreaming of the SF/F genre. I read genre stories and novels and accounts of conventions and fellow genre fans and this helped me survive. This helped me thrive. I looked forward to the day when I could meet the authors I loved. When I could become friends with others who loved science fiction and fantasy as much as I did.

I dreamed of being surrounded by others who dreamed of things which have not yet happened. Of things which could never happen. Of things which we might craft into one day happening.

I guess that's not how the SF/F genre works in real life.

But the genre goes on. The dreams still thrive. Sometimes I think the dreams are all that keep me going. Except now I'm the one writing the dreams I always wished to share.